2nd blog of e day...
well dat's only for my micro.. i m seriously v worried for my macro.. so micro is my only hope of getting A.. e rest of e subjects i dun dare think.. can get B i v happy le.. my chinese module better get B if not wasted.. cos i wanna minor de.. haizz..den my other 2 psycho n bio.. haiz i seriously dunno.. psycho i think e best is only B lor.. prob a C eben... v sad...
anyway jus now was tokkin to a guy on msn.. dunno y he kep asking if i like him or wad.. hmm.. i get v worried n tense up when guys say such things cos i dunno how to react.. if i treat it as real den in e end turn out to b otherwise den v malu like i over react.. but when i told him i will become v unfriendly to guys who like me but i dun like.. den he say he better keep his mouth shut then... if not cannot eben b frens??!! huh.. i really dunno la.. cos he really not my kind.. hope he is jus joking la horr..
come to think of it my expectations v high de.. i told him i like clever guys and older guys v much older in fact if not at least v much more mature than me.. cos i think i quite independent.. i haf been thru a lot..seen a lot.. especially ever since i "work" in mediacorp..den he told me.. den no chance liao lorr.. cos he say i too smart le.. well i dun think i m v smart.. haha at least in hwa chong another 75% is smarter than me.. but i think i qt street smart la huh.. come to think of it.. m i really dat unapproachable? i dunno leh.. but i dowan think abt dese kind of things.. in fact i haf a phobia for relationships leh.. i dunno y oso.. mayb too used to doing things alone.. being alone...so mayb i will remain on e shelf ba.. i so old le.. gg to b 20 liao **shudders** so old liao cant believe it!!!hmmm wad will life b like if mummy were still ard.. 10 years le... she missed my entire teenagehood..anyway dat day my tutee(tuition kid tutor n tutee haha)told me i cannot b called a teenager v soon liao den i realise oh yar hor.. cos she reasoned to me... 13-19-year-olds r teenagers cos its thirTEEN n nineTEEN..i din realise that until i approaching 20 le haha... 5 more days to my sis 21st bday le..shld i get her sth? i dunno leh...nv bot anything for her de .. she not e kind who will want ppl noe its her bday de lar..dis wkn gg out shall c if i can get anything suitable for my sis.. since its her 21 bday.. v significant leh..to all my frens who r v close to their family members do not take dem for granted.. cos i dun haf a v close family relationship.. its alwiz me n myself... wadeva problems i haf i can only depend myself to find solutions..i may look cheerful or wad to most of u.. sometimes i m really so tired.. its really not ez all these years.. so i m closer to my frens... or rather only a few frens...
dunno if i haf ever told u all b4.. got once was tokkin to cheezi.. den we were saying we can understand how come some artistes r being branded as "dao".. its actually not their fault for being dao..(well there may b a few exceptions) cos dey r jus trying to protect themselves.. they haf to put on this shield.. cos dey dunno who are trying to get close to them jus bcos dey r public figures... or truly wanna make frens wif dem for who dey are...
althou i m not a public figure.. but wif my one leg inside mediacorp haha.. sometimes i do get benefits here n there like free movie tix concert tix blah blah.. i do get worried if ppl r being nice to me to enjoy dese benefits as well... like dere's dis guy who was v nice to me.. den after that he keep asking me for posters of artistes... i got qt fed up lar.. den i nv tok to him le lar... cos i noe he not dat kind of die-hard fans de lar.. i mean i dun mind helping u guys get autographs if its within my limits and if u really like e artistes.. but if i find out dat u want dese autographs to sell i wld b v angry de lar...
dat y sometimes i really wanna break free from all these mediacorp stuff.. i dowan do anymore.. but will i lose everything? i believe many posts i own now r partly bcos of e relations i haf wif 933 n stuff.. in fact 958 is my starting point.. its not a 老人台 like some of u might think.. in fact dey r the most close knitted station among e 3 chinese stations lorr.. e ppl dere r so nice n friendly.. anyway yar wir rgds to my connections sometimes i dowan tok abt it larr.. i dunno...i jus wanna b a normal n ordinary girl.. normal ntu student..
recently.. cheezi ask me to go join dis 933 dj hunt... cos she joining n her frens r joining.. its actually part of ntu talentime.. at first when i got to hear of it.. i wanted to join den i ask her join wif me.. but she dowan cos if u win its jus cohosting a 933 prog..now she ask me join haizz... but i dunno... wad will daddy say?? will he b angry? haiz.. i dunno leh... e closing date is 16 nov.. y dun i haf a poll here.. those ppl who r supportive of me u can either tell me or leave a msg on my tag board.. there will b a public auditions 9 jan i think cant rmb.. somewhere outdoor in a shopping centre dat kind so will haf a lot of ppl.. but u haf to perform for 5 min i think plus intro.. i dunno wad to perform leh.. only thing i can think of is to 模仿联邦腔 cos dat time was tokking to cheezi's fren den i tok to her in dat accent.. she tot i was from malaysia.. but i dowan offend e malaysians leh.. so i oso dunno.. i can oso fake taiwan accent larr.. but wld dat b too common? oh i suddenly rmb.. i m 冷笑话王 n all my 欠扁问答题 haha (right wanshi haha..) n if i were to take part i need to go on a diet lorr. too fat liao lar.. n i not good looking.. surely wun win y waste my $6 registration fee hor.. cos i noe now looks does matter in dat circle.. cos a lot of 933 djs host tv shows liao... its v difficult to b jus a dj only.. n in fact if u get to host tv shows can earn more money...
想太多haha... yar anyway it will b so weird if those judges r from 933 which is highly possible.. cos i will noe dem haha... den somehow wun b ez to perform in frt of dem.. cos not v shou wif dem oso... den if i malu myself.. i still need to 算票de leh...still haf lotsa opportunities to face dem..
anyway cant wait for exams to b over lorr.. dunno leh.. jus v stress liao lorr.. recently my family got a lot of prob again.. y isit i haf to face so many prob.. cant my life b less exciting?? i wanna go hols i wanna take a break.. i wanna indulge in retail therapy.. i wanna shop!!
anyway thks yanling for lending me ur bio notes.. no time le.. guess i will jus survive on ur notes.. at least can recall sth den tml can crap haizz..cant wait for tml(oops!! shld b today) to b over..
paiseh dunno y my blog end up so long..
the princess left at
5:56 PM
