happy bday pin =)
now i wish i can stay home n snore.. haha...
k anyway e agenda today WAS 1)ktv den 2)marina steamboat..
but we did go for ktv la.. jus dat our eating place changed.. ha.. sang my heart out during ktv.. machiam personal concert.. cos me n gh reached first but he not singing lar cos ppl professional de leh haha.. he sing den i dun dare sing de lor..
den pin reached but she oso dowan sing.. boohoo.. so i jus sang wadeva i want until winnie reached..
nth interesting other than at some pt in time we wld get too high n i wld fill them in wif entertainment snippets haha.. oh when winnie reached she brot cake for pin as planned yest haha.. since she wld b e last to reach.. but gh somehow gave e game away i think thou i was engrossed in my singing i din realise haha..
den dinner we went over to fish & co..
yeah we ordered a seafood platter for ONE [shared btwn me n winnie] n a seafood platter for TWO [pin n gh] haha... n me n winnie almost died.. so full!! n yet pin's platter still haf some sotong left.. but gh refused to eat saying it has turned cold.. n winnie attempted to ask e waiter to reheat haha.. i think we haf all gone mad..
oh n we ordered mermaid freeze!! a must-order everytime i go haha..
den we started discussing wad presents to get for upcoming bdays like me n winnie's haha..
after dinner pin suggested we go stroll stroll.. so we went ps gai gai.. but i din buy anything oso haha...
yeah now back home.. a bit tired.. but happy =)
the princess left at
11:04 PM
to 2 of my most impt frens...+ updates
xinqiao was shocked oso.. i m shocked too.. cos i wanted to go.. qt looking forward to vien's party oso.. [in fact e whole of dec i haf like 4 parties up till now.. including my very own =)]
but i dunno leh.. when i heard part of her guest list.. i was jus so overwhelmed wif.. hmm fear seems to b a v harsh word.. but 原来，到了今天我还走不出那个阴影。i haf nv let it affect my life cos i was thinking 管它的 i will only keep in contact wif vien n xq mah.. n mayb a few hi-bye ppl..
hmmm i din really enjoy my sec sch life.. pri sch 更不用提 cos ar everybody 不懂死去那里.. no gatherings at all for sec sch n pri sch.. but somehow its replaced by e numerous jc gatherings i haf each yr ba.. dis yr we had 5 le.. last one will b my bday or perhaps one more b4 my bday not decided yet..
but still it was no excuse not to turn up for one my bestest fren's bday.. [vien wun b reading dis de haha.. so i think xq mayb u noe wad i m tokking abt]
i m beginning to hate my post-exam lifestyle.. its like a vicious cycle 吞噬着我.. looking for job but cant find.. den as i slumped further into my 无底洞 i dun even feel like gg out to meet ppl.. den i will think of gg out n settle my stuff on my own.. dun even feel like asking ppl if dey r free cos i expected a "no" ans anyway..
n i think miss xq is worried for me..
yest ar was so bored wanted to go ah yi hse haha machiam my 避风港 u noe jus anywhere except staying home.. i need to get out.. but i cldnt find any reason to go.. i dunno.. perhaps its part of e 面对群众 phobia.. n i din msg e usual ppl who wld go cos i thot dey 好不容易解脱了 shldnt bother them.. only to realise dey r there without telling me..
miss xq told me depression can b cured.. ha.. i think she suspect i got depression or sth..
hmm perhaps.. if i continue to stay home.. so i shld find new motivation in life.. ha.. if not every morn wake up dunno do wad.. den will jus feel like sleeping again since nth to do mah..
but fortunately dis wk got qt a few activities lined up..
haiz now a bit 后悔 nv go genting wif jielin n peeps.. but cos ar i spent a lot of money n i jus went in sept.. so i decided not to go.. if not i v free i wld haf gone.. ha..
on another note.. ha xq is gg to pei me go buy my bday outfit.. *期待* haha i said outfit cos i still haben decide wad i gg to wear.. but mayb need lotsa 减肥-ing to go.. haiz... which might b catalysed wif my super weak teeth now.. yest i cld only bite one chic nugget dat my sis bot cos e pulling action is hurting my teeth haiz..
den i think i can start to decide n confirm my guest list. n design my own guest book.. only decided to include collage n mayb some captions.. but need to scan some of e earlier photos.. yay...
oh n my room revamp project has come to a halt haha.. cos ar i 遇到了瓶颈 u noe its alwiz a different story when u execute sth haha. so i think i will prolly do it on tue or thurs my 2 free days dis wk.. or mayb nxt wk.. ha..
k lar gtg liao..
the princess left at
11:30 AM
blogging cos i m bored....
so i rotted at home.. din continue my room packing part II cos i not in e mood ha.. at least now next to bed nth de.. v big leg space all of a sudden ha..
n cos partly my dad at home.. dun like to pack my room when he's ard.. cos he will come in n kpo kpo n will start chiding for buying so many dunno wad stuff den need to find space to keep lar den now no space to keep lar den resort to throwing dis n dat..
i threw away my lao pok multi-tier cupboard plastic kind.. those cheapo kind.. think i bot it for $40 2 or 3 yrs ago.. ha..
yar but i still dragged myself out of hse at abt evening cos i wanna go lib to borrow books cos i got nth to read..
n oso cos anna sent me an email abt world of sports having 50% storewide discount.. which is super good news for me! cos i wanted to buy new teva sandals cos my prev spoilt le.. haizz after i think 4 yrs le ba.. wow!
den i went down so disappointed.. cos ar.. apparently dey keep all e nice stuff liao.. so angry.. so left those i dunno lar.. i not interested stuff.. sian..
so i went to popular.. den i saw harry potter on sale! ha.. so i bot book 1 and 2.. slowly collect n wait for price to drop further..
den i went lib n borrowed books.. so now i shall go read.. ppl who r reading dis.. u all free pls ask me out.. i m dying..
n oso.. if got job lobang pls lemme noe oso.. thanks..
the princess left at
9:37 PM
one of best pic taken in essential brews.. cos we v bo liao nth to do so anyhow take pic.. oh n we realised essential brews is opened by dis grp of 4 ex-chinese high boys.. my goodness! n oh yar dey r from ntu too! so i decided to open a rival cafe called " vital brews" wahahaha... kiddin! 
the princess left at
3:05 AM
what we ordered... we ordered dis: garlic prawn pasta! hmm not v nice leh.. e pasta a bit hard n e blend of herbs qt weird.. but prawns v succulent!! e other main course dat we ordered is fish n chips!! damn nice! fish damn fresh! but we din take pic of it.. y ah? i oso dunno haha...
the princess left at
3:03 AM
tot dis is v cute.. called smiley fries.!! haha eh no we din waste $4++ on dis.. simply not worth e $$ haha... but yanling grp of frens did.. oh n vien was telling me dis kind of fries can b found in aust supermarket easily n v ez to cook.. jus throw inside microwave.. oh wow!
the princess left at
3:00 AM
i wanna blog...
hahaha.. contradicting huh...
ok dun tok abt e most dreaded topic exams.. nth to do wif today's paper, but rather tml paper i seriously dun look fw to..
ok anyway dis few days i listened to radio bcos of a fren..
[sidetrack a bit: i still rmb how jielin was sooo shocked to hear dat i dun listen to radio haha.. yar cos i no receiver.. n my nano has all e songs i prolly wanna listen liao.. so no need for radio]
anyway to dat fren of mine...
i jus wanna say jia you! its amazing how our paths changed bcos of dat fateful competition ha.. but it also made me realise sth v impt: dat is i was nv suited for dis line.. haha i realise i prefer a 9-5 job.. eg working in a bank or some financial institutions or edb or mas or mti [no macroeconomic policies dept thou my macro sucks!] i think dealing wif money n securities n stuff r e stuff dat will gif me perks!
yeah i still like music, i still like tokking to ppl.. but.. haha i oso dunno..
but i realise reading scripts.. producing trailer n stuff is not sth i wanna do for life.. actually i realised dat last yr when auntie jy was teaching us some stuff.. dat was why i was in a dilemma n i dunno if i shld continue my so-called dream.. cos my passion, my burning desire to b a dj is no longer there..
den came e competition in jan.. i was still hesistant.. n went onstage n it was a total flop! ha come to think of it..
but yeah i m thankful i actually did it n i noe my weakness liao haha..
but ar dis kind of wanting to tok to ppl.. wanting ppl to listen to me desire seemed to b burning quietly within me still cos i was watching super host yest n yeah i saw our fellow radio academy ppl too thou none of them got thru finals haha.. den i tot to myself eh y din i take part ar? hahaha...
yar.. so jia u n i think i m still qualified to gif u some advice or share wif u my opinion ba haha... after listening sooo much from auntie mary n auntie jy.. haha..
the princess left at
6:42 PM
bored from studying...
ok tml or rather today cos its almost 2am liao.. yar today is e eve of my econometrics paper.. hmm i not feeling sooo jittery compared to macro or IO paper mayb cos i noe wad was gg on when i was doing my assignment.. but haizz got 2 chapters not in assignment so i not so sure..
wad i m most afraid is my v LAST paper on thurs.. haiz e contemporary chinese politics.. bcos e class is v v v v small i think only abt 15 ppl.. n i think 5 prcs.. 2 malaysians.. a few zai ones.. so i think dat's abt it.. i wun b able to get a B at least to qualify for my chinese minor.. sianz..
i tried reading.. but i get all my history facts jumbled up like when is e 1st united front n korean war n sino-jap war?? a lot lor.. n cos its like essay qn n i may b asked to recite all e events dat lead to for eg cultural revolution? how i noe? n i m not even halfway thru my revision.. or rather to b precise, it shld b e 1st time i m reading all this notes.. n i wun haf time to study in wed cos wed paper is pm paper n chinese pol is thurs mon paper so effectively i jus go home sleep n wake up n go sch for paper liao..
cos i think i will b sooo drained after econometrics jus like all my other papers.. reached home first thing kunz! ha..
okie my bday party shld go on as planned.. dun worry..
u noe ar i think i m really blessed leh.. haizz n e more 幸福 i feel e more guilty i m.. i feel as thou i dun deserve all these..
okie gotta go back to studying liao.. hopefully can complete one more chap b4 i sleep den tml morn shall try n read chinese pol again den pm study econometrics again..
heard from a fren who's taking econometrics B [e more cheem one] dat a girl from our class went to take liao cos she has SEA games n she went in took e paper n came out in 10 min [another variation is 30-40 min] haha so i oso dunno.. but e main pt is its soooooo difficult dat she gave up n came out.. oh n btw she shld b above avg kind ba.. yar so causing mass panic among us liao.. but hmm i taking econometrics A.. budden again my prof may do e same too.. haiz..
the princess left at
1:35 AM
haizzzz
i oso dunno wad happened.. but jus feel e gap btwn us widening.. like wad all of a sudden i dunno wad has she been bz wif.. n stuff.. k wadeva.. cos of a misunderstanding.. i dun even if it existed in the first place.. dunno how to go abt finding out oso.. wait till after exams ba..
k right now i hafta to try n complete my bedtime story: 中华人民共和国史 haizz.... a few days liao still v far from finishing line damn sian.. n since i din SU dis module in e end i need to do v v v well.. haiz..
n due to some unforeseen circumstances i may hafta cancel my bday party haiz.. dun bombard me wif all e "huh WHY???" questions yet.. pls gif me some breathing space.. seriously thinking it over now.. gif me some time..
k was jolted awake dis morn by joanne's call.. cos ah yi asked if wanna haf dinner tonite.. diaoz.. u noe ar sometimes i seriously wonder isit my fault dat e idea of me having exams now is not driven into her head leh.. cos dis few days she still call n update me on wad is happening n finally a pri sch has accepted e little boy.. i felt really relieved when i heard it ha.. cos ar its like my efforts being paid off..
well ah yi called when i was having my paper n my bag was outside so obviously i din pick up n din noe until i came out n chk hp.. den cos dunno y no recep i oso cant call ah yi back.. den after a while finally got ah yi den she was like 为什么没有听电话？ hmmm mayb cos she called during e split second when there is reception n it got diverted to my voicemail when there is no recep n she thot i kup her phone. den i told her i was having exam n exam hall had no recep..
i rmb a few days ago ar shu shu called followed by ah yi but i nv pick up cos i was still sleeping heh.. den when i finally woke up n call shu shu... shu shu apologised thinking i mus b having exams dat y i nv ans haha n he asked if he disturbed me.. den i jus answered a "没有啦”hahaha..
dat was e time e little boy had to go for e entrance exam.. i rmb calling ah yi cos e sch is v v v v near my hse.. cos dere v ulu den dey might need to noe where can dey settle their lunch.. miraculously ah yi said 你不是在考试吗？没关系啦. wow!
at dis pt when u read dis.. i dun dislike ah yi dey all.. i mean dey helped me a lot during e tw trips n stuff.. yar but haizz i oso dunno haha.. but i m a 讲讲就算的人 i jus need to get it off my chest haha...
dis period is sad enuf for me liao.. its as thou i can nv 打从心底的快乐 haizzz sian..
oh ya forgot to mention i received world vision catalogue yest ha.. den was flipping thru how we cld help e kids this xmas.. den i tot of sponsoring a kid.. not any kid. i wanna sponsor a mongolian kid.. cos dey v cute dey haf v rosy cheeks! haha n so ke lian e temp over there may dip to below -44 deg leh.. dey r in need of warm clothing.. but ar now i v broke.. so e most i can do is not to commit for a long term but rather mayb buy warm clothing for them..
there r a range of gifts u can choose to gif them.. some of them include stationery sets, book shelves, health clinic stocks etc.. oh i tot e most amazing thing was buying pigs n cows for them! so dat dey can attain self-sustainability.. haha i tot dat was qt cute..
if u r interested can lemme noe den can combine n send one cheque. haha so cool!!
the princess left at
12:45 PM
phew... finally one do-able paper....
so i conclude all china/hk profs r nice ppl.. dey wun set sth stunning or out of e blue... [like yao shun tian last sem] hey but note: i said dey r nice ppl NOT = dey can teach k!
it was like a regurgitation paper.. no gif u scenario a or b ask u to predict wad might happen or use wd monetary policy...
n in e end i chose to do on china's exchange rate policy thou last nite i ony spent like 5 min reading while tokking to vien haha... n she still chided me for not paying attn to my stuff.. k.. n i tot i wun touch anything related to china.. but i did in e end.. my ans was super short for a 15-mark qn.. hope i haf e main points..
den when we came out.. i was keeping my stuff my bag.. den jielin came over n asked where's her bag?? den i huh? which bag.. wad bag? u put near me? den she yar.. den at first we din start to panic cos ar still haf a lot of ppl so mayb someone might haf taken by mistake [ i still haf trust in e ntu student population ] so we waited a while, loitered ard.. hoping someone wld come back wif her bag..
but heh no.. in e meantime some other frens were trying to call jielin's hp c if anyone pick up.. but it was jus dial tone..
den we went to tell e security guard.. wad pissed me off is e guard's nonchalant tone.. as thou its like "oh jus any other case.." haiz...
jielin has a lot of atm cards, discount cards n even her ic inside.. hmmm... i cant imagine how i wld haf react if it were to happen to me.. can u imagine? her bag was like near mine.. wad if e thief decide to grab my bag?? my goodness.. thank god! noe i v broke recently huh.. so if steal my money i will cry! boohoo.. but i dun bring ic out hmm i oso dunno y haha cos i nv keep my ezlink card in dat precious moment case liao.. dat case has some of my most impt documents like ic n pdl..
n oso my topshop card!! 80 more dollars i can get my free voucher again.. haiz... so better dun steal my bag!!
n not forgetting my nano!! my bao bei!! n dis morn li chuan was still commenting wah!! i want ur nano! den gh was like " wah so loud! if her bag gana stolen u hafta b responsible!"
haizz...
oh yar n my hp.. btw i m using my old nokia phone liao cos my sony ericsson concussed.. yar.. so dun b angry wif me if i asked who r u hor! hahaha...
den i was telling pin ru yar lor.. hmm if i lost my dis hp i still not so sad.. den pin ru reminded me: sms leh? oh yar!!!!! some of my *ahem* v impt smses r inside!!! =) haizz... so all in all i cant afford to lose my bag...
e nxt exams i shall bring my wallet in n since cannot bring telecommunication devices i shall bring sim card in haha as i was telling pin ru.. still thinking how i can bring my nano in.. so slim sure haf way de.. will think over e nxt 3 days..
ok n i shall go sleep now.. cos i sleptfor like 3 hours i think got plus plus haha.. cant get to sleep again sianz... n guess wad.. i almost cldnt make it to dis morn paper cos ar i set alarm at 5am hoping i cld run thru e tut assignments one last time to refresh my memory b4 gg in.. but ar somehow i switched off e snooze function i think.. so i was shocked when i wake up at 7 to c e sky bright bright.. but heng it was 7 n i wasnt late n was in fact v early!
*pats myself on e shoulder*
n once again i need to say i cant stand e state of my room!
i wanna pack room at some times of e day when i study till qt sian.. but once i start its really 一发不可收拾 so i better not luan lai.. hahaha.. control control!
the princess left at
3:03 PM
n i tot last sem was e worst of all...
i rmb last sem dis time i was oso blogging abt how impossible it is to score for my stats module.. my political economy... my chinese cinema module.. e only possible one was my business communication in chinese.. haha speaking of which last nite i saw my 老师 on tv.. she was in charge of e 语音 training for e 明星偶像...
ok but it was different last sem.. cos everyone said dey dunno how to do.. so in e end i think our prof moderate like siao n everyone 过关 n it was one of my best results attained so far.. both in smu n ntu haha.. cos i think in smu i was no way near 2nd upper..
dis yr if choy choy choy i fail ar sure die.. last yr all e worst scenario dat i thot of gg to come true u noe.. i cant afford to fail any core modules cos one of e 江湖传闻 last yr was dat if u failed any u will graduate without honours!!! my goodness!! my 2nd upper!! i hafta kiss it goodbye.. even if e rest of my sem in ntu i score all As oso no more honours!!!
dis is how stressed i m.. i rmb not long ago me waking up at abt 3am to change my bedsheets.. ok well dis time round i din wake up at 3am cos i studied till 4am last nite...
but from e time i woke up till now.. i dump my comforter into e washing machine.. [pray hard will dry by tonite!! if not i got no comforter] n i jus changed my bed sheets.... n i jus went to soak barley.. yar i cooking barley later... haizz i dunno y oso i lost my appetite for everything..
even e things or person dat once made me ecstatic or go ga-ga proved to b useless this time round...
n right now i m like so broke.. i wanna ask my dad for my nxt 1/2 yr pocket $ i oso feel so guilty abt it.. haizz oh btw i get pocket money from my dad tgt wif sch fees evri half a yr.. last time i took was in may i think... so yar... time for another cheque.. but i feel so guilty now cos i m like wasting my dad's hard-earned $$ i din study as hard as b4.. my results is like on a parachute fall... free falling downwards n nv on e rise... if i were a share, nobody wld wanna invest in me.. n yet here i m wasting my dad's money... oh great!
i better buck up n do sth abt my fav money n banking!!!!
the princess left at
2:31 PM
a letter from guardian angel
" This is your guardian angel saying that
even if things seem a little bit crazy where you are right now,
from up here you look pretty good.
That tangled mess that's gotten you worried?
It's jus a dark cloud...
and there's a rainbow on the other side!"
the princess left at
5:52 PM
2nd time...
whole world think its an easy paper.. i dun deny e fact.. especially e last 2 qns were an exact replica from tutorial.. but haizz i dunno wad's wrong wif me.. my mind jus went blank n i cant solve!!
i really dunno how... u noe dat kind of v helpess feeling... i dun eben noe how to explain..
den i walked to e front of e exam hall.. hmmm shld i say i m v comforted to hear my clique [other than pin, as usual] n april, daphne n jielin say dey dunno how to do oso...
haizz...
i v bad hor... find comfort from ppl who r in e same boat as me..
anyway... den while waiting for 199 cos 179 bus stop was "flooded" april was saying she wanna go shopping.. she dowan go home.. hmmm.. haizz.. so sad hor.. den on e bus we decided to go jp n eat.. n we cldn't decide wad to eat...
den april suggested dian xin.. so we bot a few baos n pies from "pau" n stood ard to eat... hahaha..
den me n chu lei cldnt withstand e temptation of chwee kueh so i bot chwee kueh home for dinner..
i reached home den i ate chwee kueh..
den watched a bit of tv.. watched my dad walk to n fro.. hmmm i qt sad leh cos i saw instant noodles wrapper in e kitchen bin.. which means my dad must haf cooked instant noodles for lunch b4 i went out.. usually he v against us eating instant noodles de n i haf nv seen him eat instant noodles..
but heng lar b4 i reached home i called home using my lao pok hp.. [hp is half dead cos e volume v soft thou its e max liao..] so i bot dinner for him.. n i din realise he cldnt adapt to e hot weather in sg yet cos he jus came back from e cold cold china.. den he got sore eye.. haiz.. my dad getting old le... v sad...
den i cant rmb wad i did.. but i rmb at abt 9pm my dad came n woke me up.. cos he wanna eat sting ray.. my sis was in living room.. so he was ike trying to get our attention.. cos being a lazy dad he wun go buy himself.. we hafta serve him.. but anything lar.. since he pay $$ haha.. den my sis agreed to go buy for him.. den my dad came n wake me up again asking if i wanna eat.. n i said i dowan cos i wanna sleep... he continued to tok to my sis in his super loud voice.. haizz.. den he came n ask again.. aiyo... ok fine fine i cant go back to sleep oso le.. eat lor..
den ar my sis came back like 10 000 yrs nv eat lydat.. bot fries, satay wit ketupat n a super big sting ray..
my diet plan will nv succeed as long as i stay under e same roof wif 2 大胃王 who nv need to worry abt putting on weight de lor.. dunno y my dad nv pass his genes to me!! grr...
ok at dis pt when i m writing dis.. all e tw goodies plus my dad's china goodies r staring at me.. NAH!! i shant eat cos i brushed my teeth le *grinz* ding* haha...
i shall go study money n banking liao!! at least mus buck up!!! cant afford to flop my $ n banking!!
the princess left at
10:57 PM
it seems almost confirmed...
.
.
.
.
.
quick close ur mouth..
dun let ur jaw drop to e floor...
lemme explain first..
rmb a few posts earlier i mentioned abt gg exchange or sth.. well ah yi asked shu shu to help me get a place in one of e china university cos apparently shu shu has some connections there..
den i told him i cant jus go lydat cos ar got limited place n need to go thru interviews n stuff...
shu shu say den 这你就不知道了..
he ask me gif him my name.. choic of uni n wad stuff i wanna do type n gif him.. n he can ALMOST guarantee me a place...
den i was like den how do i tell my sch??
den he was like u jus wait for e notification from ur sch? cos e china uni will call ur sch n tell them dey want u to go over for exchange.. suddenly i felt so WOW!
but while i was eagerly looking for info.. i felt alone.. den benjie (shu shu eldest daughter) asked me 你真的要去吗? n i answered immediately 当然啦。。 but as i was browsing thru n gathering more info..
i suddenly felt i dun really wanna go do i? i jus wanna leave dis place n mayb e place i grew up in..
den i think i will miss daddy n sis..
den i think i will miss all my frens who used to b a phone call away...
[speaking of which i mus thank rena cos she helped me wif my bday invite design e whole nite n today as well thank u thank u =) ]
but as i mentioned a few posts earlier.. i think its oso time for me to grow up le..
althou...
我不想我不想长大
so i guess when shu shu settled all dis for me.. i will go over.. cos its not good to ask ppl to help n in e end i back out rite...
anyway b4 ppl start lashing out at me wad was i doing at shu shu place?? wanted to go on thurs after my macro paper cos i needed to collect my jstar magazine.. but i was tooo tired i slept only 2 hours e night b4.. y cant i wait till after exams rite? cos i dunno when will i meet yinglin again n i need to pass her her copy oso..
n oso cos shu shu bot some foodstuff over as usual n i need to go collect them b4 some of them turn bad..
n oso my acne cream i finished using le.. den anna went to dr tan's today mah so i asked me get one more bottle from him lor.. n anna oso asked me to help her record SHA so i need to pass her e video..
i dunno liao le lar.. right now i m like pissed wif everything in my life..
dunno y dis few days evri mon when i wake up i will experience dis excruciating pain in my forearm dat i haf to lean n put my entire body weight on it to numb e pain.. i will go back to sleep for abt 1 more hr.. when i wake up again its not dat painful liao but still painful..
it has been gg on for 3 days le i think.. v 辛苦 shall consult my med frens!! vien!! help me!
hmm i rmb e first warning was 3 yrs back during my 18th bday eli n rena n i dunno who came my hse to stay over.. den wanted to go mac for breakfast but all of a sudden v pain at abt 4 am so dey had to go home while i went back to sleep...
m i dying?? sheesh...
i dunno if its bcos my dad is not ard dis few days n most of e time i m left all alone at home cos my sis wld go out n havoc.. i seemed to sense my mum's presence.. u noe ar prev 2 days while i was watching tv late in e night past 12 nidnight kind i will hear sound of bells or metal chains tingling sound i oso dunno how to describe.. we haf no wind chimes at home de cos i scared of e sound hahhaa.. i m a scaredy-cat... but i keep hearing... den i will haf goosebumps.. hmmm...
11 yrs nv c her le ba.. dat day showed rena my mummy's pic oso haha she oso commented my mummy v pretty haha i oso think so yay!
mummy isit really u?
the princess left at
1:14 AM
undescribable---
brain dead now...
super difficult
i was like gg to dig my brain out from my skull
jus wad did i study over e last few days??
how come i cant recall anything????
ok wadeva.. scribbled a bit here a bit there..
oso dunno how...
only slept like 2 hours cos i cldnt sleep...
toss n turn yar i din roll n roll grrr...
den woke up continued studying..
den ar e worst thing was when i was on e bus to sch...
my chest.. wahhhh super tight.. oso dunno y
haf breathing difficulties..
i tot i was gg to die...
den i felt as thou i was giving birth....
hahaha....
ok wadeva.... look wad has happened to me...
stress...
grrrr....
now dat dis macro paper is over...
a load off my mind..
on e journey home
was thinking wad r e other scary papers...
den i realise i 都熬过 macro 还有什么难得到我
diaozzz....
tml still need to go sch
cos we decided to split up chinese politics...
each person do research on a war: korean war, civil war, sino war n dunno wad...
hahaa i dun even noe my stuff...
n e ever irritating cultural revolution...
my part is on china-tw relations...
haizz....
ok anyway now my fav song on repeat is
S.H.E new song... its called
不想长大
yay!! i like e lyrics...
especially e chorus
dey keep repeating
我不想 我不想不想长大！！
bwahahahahhaa....
share wif u all e next time.. if not those ppl who haf not been reading hafta scroll like siao...
ok ciao i go orh orh...
the princess left at
2:31 PM
im back again!
den i change my dat multi tier cupboard.. to a more durable one.. n move my mummy's 古董 typewriter to somewhere.. haizz cannot throw cos its my mummy's 宝贝 shit.. mayb i shld attempt to stack me n my sis bed into e double deck one.. den we will haf more space.. mayb got space for 2 study tables.. n oso cos over dis few yrs.. i bot a lot a lot of bags! im amazed by e speed i buy bags! wow! haha.. oh yar n not to mention jackets! wow! haha... i haf like on avg 2 new jackets every sem.. my goodness!! den she dun haf to sit on e floor oso..
ok ok dis is soooo exciting!!!
hmm or mayb i get a wardrobe too?! cos i haf a lot of clothes oso.. hmmm.. shit! can i jus invade into my maid's territory??!! haizz...
got sth to look forward to after exams!!! woohoo!!
eh shit jus went to surf ikea website! i think my budget not enuf!! grrr...
i wanna buy dis..
dis rack costs $15.00 qt ok...
dis is supposed to b a bin! but i tot it looks v nice! tot can dump my bags inside! wow! haha.. cost $12
the princess left at
4:19 PM
lappie crashed again....
dis time round 损失 more 惨重 cos ar my external disk drive is down for a v long time le.. haizz... so its like everything is GONE!!! all my jay mvs... my jay songs.. haizzz means need to dl again!! oh yar n my 恶魔在身边 so sorry to e peeps i promised to burn to cd for u all.. shld haf burnt earlier n not procrastinate...
我对不起你们！
jus now called up e cake shop.. being a kiasu singaporean! haizz.. i bo bian... cos i oredi din get my first choice for chalet.. in case u haf not been following.. my first choice was actually chevrons.. which wld b sooo near to my hse.. a lot of ppl's hse in fact.. now we hafta travelled across e longest diameter of singapore island to e east side.. aloha loyang.. sianz..
ok yar my first choice cake! v impt de!! cos dat time i went to collect cake for Miss Tok's sister ar i wanted to order liao cos really will sold out de.. haizz.. den e person was telling me call early nov.. cos dey expect a lot A LOT OF ORDERS for dec.. so i called dis morn.. haizz.. but dat woman asked me to call on e 1st week of dec.. haiz... being a kiasu sgporean,i shall call on nov 30 haha..
n i m v heng.. i called once n its thru, thou i waited qt long b4 e person pick up lar.. haha...
if i dun get my first choice cake.. no! i will not settle for awfully choco.. its awful, nth compared to my heavenlicious lana cake.. woohoo~~
n if really cant get mayb really need to custom-made my kiki lala 3D cake.. but i think dat one oso need to pre-order 1 mth in advance.. bcos 工程浩大. haha..
n today's my sis bday! she's gg out to havoc.. so i m all alone at home.. sianzz cos tml is e start of my exams... why why why so fast?? diaozz..
n oh yar since my lappie is down.. i shall switch on my hp today...
haha while i m online.. was surfing for little twin stars stuff.. since {ding!} a while ago i was still tokkin abt my kiki lala cake haha... anyway look at dis v beautiful wooden box.. selling for 18.50.. i tot it qt reasonable leh haha got glitter.. haha.. can put all my accessories！！hmm i tot of revamping my room [err i sleep wif my sis so its OUR room.. but i m e messy one haha..] after exams.. but again 工程浩大 i need to buy new furniture.. n throw a way a lot a lot of stuff! wow! c lar... i doubt i will do anything thou...
haha found dis little twin stars jacket.. errr pardon e words.. not supposed to b there.. its e person's pic.. haha.. dis one v 杀人放火 asking for $65 lor. siao!! i think my wooden box better...
haha i found a few more interesting things, like kiki lala beach chair.. bwahahaha...
ok dat's all for now.. i shall go back study!!!!
grrrr.... n i shall i dowan lar... do sth abt my room!! grrr
the princess left at
1:32 PM
...
yar everyone is worried abt their honours.. me too.. how how how?? i hate it when i m aiming for Bs only for dis exams.. even my most confident chinese.. i m only aiming for B- so dat i can secure my chinese minor n not take another module to replace dis..
boohoo boohoo how how how?? did i choose e wrong course to major in?? omg! haizz wad m i supposed to do now??
first paper on thurs: killer macro..
seriously ar my macro v lan de!!!n i m not kiddin! when i was in smu, my macro i smoked my way thru cos intro econs was open-book so i jus pluck eqns n plug them in my ans.. n i rmb was choose 4 out of 6 n at least 1 macro n 1 micro.. so i did 3 micro n 1 macro..
den ar last yr 1st sem macro course 102 i din do well but surprisingly i did better than my micro haha.. but i was qt happy wif my int micro grade 201 last sem.. n i alwiz get good prof for macro.. but i alwiz do them injustice..
n if u think macro is abt writing essays n tok co*k n bullsh*t... all e more i m in deep shit cos i was never a tok co*k bullsh*t person..
den ar thou i alwiz luff at ppl who took international trade.. cos dey haf a 20% assignment due right in e middle of our exams..
but ar my situation is no better than them oso.. cos ar.. i haf dis dumb module taught by a really jialat prof.. industrial organisation.. absolutely dunno wad i haf learnt from e module.. dumb textbook so ex.. n he nv use.. tut qns al from appendix.. den ar e last few tut appendix oso no use.. hafta think out own formulae... best! so wad now.. read or dun read tb?? haizzz...
ok anyway i was reading newspapers dis morn den got dis medical forum where readers cld write in abt some of their med problems dey might haf.. den got dis person signed off as sleepy head.. hmm it caught my attention cos she wrote dat she cld sleep anywhere n anytime.. haha dat reminded me of a v good fren of mine.. n ours.. haha..
i dun fall asleep easily n anyhow-ly.. but dis few days i haf my share of insomnia.. n dozing off while waiting for e 2 girls' exams to b over.. i dun think i haf not enuf of sleep during dis period.. cos i sleep like 8 hours on average.. i think.. i dun keep track.. n i dun usually nap..
den anyway e article mentioned abt quality sleep n not quantity sleep.. i sleep a lot its perhap due to my escaping reality mentality.. i dowanna wake up.. cos right now e only time i m not stressed is when i m sleeping..
dat is y.. i m deprived of quality sleep.. i m soooo stressed.. haizz..
today listened to 933 cos miss A wanted me to listen who is e dj on air.. weird.. auntie mary din host today.. dunno y.. anyway i jus realised while tokking to miss A dat we haf not gone out tgt on a wkn for a v v v vlong time.. except during her bday.. ever since ah yi n shu shu came b4 dis sem started all our wkns r spent there.. but anyway yar back to 933.. junli hosted n he highlighted a part of wilbur lyrics i nv pay attention to b4..
i hope i wun haf e same sentiments after my thurs paper...
我还不想承认这事实
怎么会变成这个样子
没有了
我真的什么都没有了
就象一个废人
回家的路上我哭了
眼泪再一次崩溃了
无能为力这样走着
再也不敢骄傲奢求了
我还能够说些什么
我还能够做些什么
the princess left at
8:49 PM
all-time low...
my confidence level has hit an all-time low.. y isit dat every exam period i mus cry cos i absolutely dunno wad my notes is trying to convey or dat i cant rmb anything dat i haf read like one hr ago??
n to make things worse, my agony is coupled wif cramps now.. making me feel absolutely terrible now..
looking n counting e number of hours i haf left.. i begin to wonder if i shld
1) not go n suan piao for e time being until 25/11
2) seriously considering not to help janet for billy's concert since
a) i dowanna torture my ears and eyes
b) well if janet wants to threaten me wif 30 dec haizz den dun come la..
(cos at dis pt i m like SOOOO worried for my exams)
c) i will b so tired lor. imagine a paper in e morn, suan piao in e pm,
billy concert in e night + a exams-ended-shld-b-in-hol-mood cz..
what shld i do??
i haf already resorted to switching off my hp at certain times of e day.. so pardon me wif i din reply.. for ppl close to me, u shld still b able to contact me mah u peeps haf my hse no..[but pls do not call me unless its urgent lar..] n i shld b online too..
this is how stressed i m.. really felt like crying again..
or mayb mon i shldnt go wif them to nygh?? haizzz..
yest after singapore hit awards (SHA) xing guang da dao.. i wanted to leave suntec.. since my duties r done.. but cos cz haben finish n she coming my hse to stay over so i hafta wait for her..
i dun understand myself really.. i dun eben wanna stay to watch SHA cos i wanna go home n study.. but yet when i m home now i like nv study much??
grrrr...
the princess left at
12:56 AM
giving it a lot of thot recently...
being e 小姐 in everybody's eyes i think 9 out of 10 ppl will think i cant survive there..
ok i m not so adventurous to try oso im more interested in those travel stuff dat i haf been seeing.. for eg those travel posters put up by student union.. but i cant find anyone to go with me.. which is prolly e best thing for me.. then i can go n make new frens..
but looking at my dec schedule.. i wun say its v packed now but my activities are v much dispersed so i cant b away for long stretch of period..
but i really wanna go somewhere, achieve something..
jus let me b away from home ba.. enuf of staying at home dis period.. 有时候每天想处在同一个屋檐下，只会产生更多磨察。
sth happened today dat made me n my sis qt pissed, not wif each other of cos..
but it also made me reconsidering gg for exchange or sth soon cos i dun really wanna stay in sg.. haha
mayb i need to get away to make me miss this home.. but i think i will miss my daddy n sis.. mayb i will call home n cry on e first day of exchange haha..
the princess left at
1:46 PM
i miss those times wif u ard.....
when i wld go to sch
jus hoping to catch a glimpse of him
one of e motivation of gg to sch back then =)
jus knowing he is doing well
jus knowing he is fine
hoping to catch him smile
hoping to bump into him along e corridor
hoping to say hi to him
or even better,
hoping for him to say hi to me
n e bestest,
hoping for a conversation wif him...
well i believe there is a trade-off somehow
[haha economic term: DING! trade-off ]
i dun get to c him dat often
not along e corridor
not along north spine
not along south spine
not at 179 berth
not at jp
but i definitely tok to him more often now
that i m thankful for.. =)
at times like dis
i question myself
what do i really want
what do i hope for...
den i realise i haf e answer
all i want..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
is for him to b happy..
thou i wld still b saddened to learn dat
he has found the princess of his life one day...
就让我这样一直默默的守护你好吗？
在别人眼中看来，
这可能很愚蠢。
但如果我很开心
这有何不可？
haha dat day my ex-crush msned me! wow i was shocked! cos he was an exchange student at smu 2 yrs ago.. haha.. dat time we were in e same proj grp.. me, pp, calvin, him, faruk n maisarah haha.. maisaran was alwiz mia-ing.. faruk we hafta excuse him cos he v poor thing.. he din noe wad was gg on in intro to econs cos i think english was like greek to him.. he's from turkey.. n we alwiz haf difficulty trying to understand wad he was saying haha.. but he's a nice guy who will alwiz smile. v charming guy.. those bollywood star material kind haha..
yar yar back to my ex-crush.. we gave him e sian diao face when we learnt which country he was from haha.. he was from malaysia.. we were like diaozz.. malaysia 也算？cos we tot he was from hk or sth.. cos he had dis canto accent.. haha but his english is ok.. n he definitely haf e makings of a hk movie star those kind of 性格小生 haha.. aiya at dis pt i realised in smu i m like surrounded by shuai guys.. y isit dat in ntu like boh?? hahaha..
i rmb got once me n pp stayed back in gsr (grp study room) to mug wif our intro to econs ppl.. n peishi oso find him shuai haha so i 鼓起勇气 sms him asked if he wanna join us.. n he agreed! haha.. cos as an exchange student he alwiz haf to attend talks lar seminars etc.. sometimes when we sms him he wld b at ntu or nus.. come to think of it i think i smsed him qt often bwahaha.. we wanted to go out tgt after exams.. haiz but he flying back like 1 wk after our exams n his schedule is packed haizz.. so bo bian.. but he did sms to say dat he's gg back.. n i haf his msn so will still "see" him online lar..
dat time i was shocked when he msn me.. haha afterall 2 yrs liao.. den he told me he was actually in sg last mth.. but he saved our numbers in e hp he used in sg 2 yrs back n lost all our no.s liao.. he came over to walk ard e new smu campus..
haha i told him i haben eben found time to go n 逛 he as a malaysian has oredi made his way down.. i feel so ashamed hahaha..
den i think he saw my msn pic den asked me when is my 21st bday? den i told him 31 dec haha den shun bian invited him out of courtesy heehee.. den he answered may come down. den i was like "really??" den he said "yar of cos! anything cld happen mah!" haha.. thou i think he said all this to make me happy or sth. he wun come down de lar haha.. but thanks for rmb-ing me..
oh n to prevent e prev case of him coming to sg n not being able to contact us he asked me for my no! haha n he gave me his malaysia no too.. cos dat time he was using a prepaid card in sg..
一个很久没有联络的朋友突然传来他的问候，还挺温馨的！
the princess left at
10:03 PM
SHouLD i BuY??
Any Sponsors? hahaha...
finally e nano case dat i haf long been waiting for!! haha.. got black too but i prefer pink hee =)
$36 + free shipping! click here!
the princess left at
10:54 PM
JAY!!!
the princess left at
10:35 PM
