what's wrong wif me???
You have always been on the move seeking affectionate, satisfying and harmonious relationships. Your ultimate goal has been the realization of an intimate union in which there could be love, self-sacrifice and mutual trust. It has often been said that 'True love is just around the corner' and - if you haven't found it as yet - you possibly soon will.
At this time you 'need to be needed' and again you 'need to need'. You have had this feeling for some time now and you are looking for someone who could share a close bond in an atmosphere of shared intimacy. You have the belief that with the right person you could conquer the world.
In spite of all the opposition, you are insisting that your goals are realistic but circumstances are forcing you to compromise. You are not very happy with this situation but there is little that you can do about it. You have very strict standards which you try to apply to everyone who enters your sphere of influence.
You are presently experiencing excessive stress as a result of self-restraint. You act and think differently from the common herd and you want to be liked and admired for yourself and to associate with people who feel and act as you do. Because of this need to be self-reliant and to break away from mediocrity, you are finding this situation most uncomfortable and you are experiencing considerable anxiety - perhaps even more than you feel the capacity to cope with. You need to find a 'soul mate', someone whose standards are as high as your own - but where? Keep on searching... The situation is uncomfortable and you would like to break away from it, but you refuse to compromise with your opinions. You are unable to resolve the situation because you are continually postponing the making of necessary decisions. You are stubborn but this is no deterrent to a happy life, so why drop your standards. Think positively, everything will work out. It has worked out successfully for you in the past and it will again in the future.
The tensions and stresses that you have experienced of late have been the result of trying to cope with conditions which are really beyond your capabilities. You feel completely inadequate to cope with the situation and you would like nothing better to escape from it all and to be able to relax in a problem and pressure free environment where you can do your thing.
there u go.. hmmm..
these few days ar i think i m like suffering from depression or sth.. cos i experience drastic mood changes.. i mean when i m in sch or wif my friends i m happy n luffing most of e time.. but when i m alone... i will slump into my little hermit crab shell becoming v quiet and moody.. crying at times..
like jus now came back from driving.. did qt a lot of wrong things at circuit.. hmmm i shldn't b making this kind of silly mistakes at this stage de lorr.. but sill yar.. i m jus so restless n not concentrating.. i oso dunno wad's wrong...
sometimes i cant stand myself.. it's like a qn of chicken first or egg first.. isit bcos of my friends dat's y i behave this way or isit bcos i behave in such a manner my frens treat me lydat.. sometimes i feel as thou i haf no friends.. felt so alone n friendless and dis feeling is like getting stronger n stronger when i m alone..
u noe sometimes i made choices n decisions, n eben sacrifices for friends as thou i m left wif no choice.. but yet sometimes when i do certain things for them.. i will nv be able to reach e same level as other friends r placed at.. i guess ppl r lydat.. as in u haf a grp of friends.. A B C D... there r bound to be a few u admire more than e rest.. n those friends dun haf to do anything.. mayb a sms to say dey miss u will make u all happy for e rest of e day.. if i did sth nice or sth.. u will only b happy for dat short moment n forget abt it in e nxt i guess..
that's y sometimes i chose to b selfish n care only for myself.. n its a vicious cycle and make u all dislike me more...
some ppl r jus so blessed... dey dun haf to do a lot of things n dey will haf a lot of friends surrounding me.. i dun think i command such great influence over any of my friends.. i dun think ppl ever say i m nice or sth.. haha...
ok ignore me if u dun understand... i m jus grumbling n whining...
the princess left at
1:33 AM

