to 2 of my most impt frens...+ updates
xinqiao was shocked oso.. i m shocked too.. cos i wanted to go.. qt looking forward to vien's party oso.. [in fact e whole of dec i haf like 4 parties up till now.. including my very own =)]
but i dunno leh.. when i heard part of her guest list.. i was jus so overwhelmed wif.. hmm fear seems to b a v harsh word.. but 原来，到了今天我还走不出那个阴影。i haf nv let it affect my life cos i was thinking 管它的 i will only keep in contact wif vien n xq mah.. n mayb a few hi-bye ppl..
hmmm i din really enjoy my sec sch life.. pri sch 更不用提 cos ar everybody 不懂死去那里.. no gatherings at all for sec sch n pri sch.. but somehow its replaced by e numerous jc gatherings i haf each yr ba.. dis yr we had 5 le.. last one will b my bday or perhaps one more b4 my bday not decided yet..
but still it was no excuse not to turn up for one my bestest fren's bday.. [vien wun b reading dis de haha.. so i think xq mayb u noe wad i m tokking abt]
i m beginning to hate my post-exam lifestyle.. its like a vicious cycle 吞噬着我.. looking for job but cant find.. den as i slumped further into my 无底洞 i dun even feel like gg out to meet ppl.. den i will think of gg out n settle my stuff on my own.. dun even feel like asking ppl if dey r free cos i expected a "no" ans anyway..
n i think miss xq is worried for me..
yest ar was so bored wanted to go ah yi hse haha machiam my 避风港 u noe jus anywhere except staying home.. i need to get out.. but i cldnt find any reason to go.. i dunno.. perhaps its part of e 面对群众 phobia.. n i din msg e usual ppl who wld go cos i thot dey 好不容易解脱了 shldnt bother them.. only to realise dey r there without telling me..
miss xq told me depression can b cured.. ha.. i think she suspect i got depression or sth..
hmm perhaps.. if i continue to stay home.. so i shld find new motivation in life.. ha.. if not every morn wake up dunno do wad.. den will jus feel like sleeping again since nth to do mah..
but fortunately dis wk got qt a few activities lined up..
haiz now a bit 后悔 nv go genting wif jielin n peeps.. but cos ar i spent a lot of money n i jus went in sept.. so i decided not to go.. if not i v free i wld haf gone.. ha..
on another note.. ha xq is gg to pei me go buy my bday outfit.. *期待* haha i said outfit cos i still haben decide wad i gg to wear.. but mayb need lotsa 减肥-ing to go.. haiz... which might b catalysed wif my super weak teeth now.. yest i cld only bite one chic nugget dat my sis bot cos e pulling action is hurting my teeth haiz..
den i think i can start to decide n confirm my guest list. n design my own guest book.. only decided to include collage n mayb some captions.. but need to scan some of e earlier photos.. yay...
oh n my room revamp project has come to a halt haha.. cos ar i 遇到了瓶颈 u noe its alwiz a different story when u execute sth haha. so i think i will prolly do it on tue or thurs my 2 free days dis wk.. or mayb nxt wk.. ha..
k lar gtg liao..
the princess left at
11:30 AM
