i shldnt haf broke down jus now..
i jus felt like running away from all this.. i looked myself in e mirror when i was brushing my teeth den i saw how irritated my skin is wif all e rashes n my dark eye circles.. v sad..
i yearn to experience e carefree life my fren is enjoying now on her exchange.. she was feeling qt depressed last yr as she felt she had reached her bottleneck and nid to leave all dis emotional baggage behind n look for her true self.. mayb i shld do e same cos she is now all ready to return to sg when her exchange comes to an end end of dis mth.. but since i cant go for exchange cos of my braces i certainly dowan to wear my braces half a yr longer.. [n my dad jus asked me when can i remove them.. haizz i oso wanna remove la.. so ugly..]
right now i m more inclined to taking up e shanghai summer prog cos a few ppl encouraged me to do so.. u can say i m running away or wad.. but i alwiz wanted to run away from this place wif lotsa unhappy memories.. but i oso think i shld learn to grow up.. [although i still believe i m qt mature in some ways haha] anyway.. yar so wad if i m gg alone.. i can make use of my one mth to go research on shanghai n plan which places i wanna go! i can go on my own wad.. i got mouth i can ask ppl how to get there.. i will not b alone cos i haf my digi cam n i can take lotsa pics n i can upload n blog abt them n all my blog-ders can share my joy wif me..
yl was saying so wad if i cant work i will b broke.. but i will b rich in another aspect.. i will b knowledge-rich n experience-rich..
haizz ok i still v angry wif myself how can i allow myself to tear in public.. heng e tears din roll down.. dey remained in my eyes.. but i guess i was jus soo overwhelmed wif all e stuff i nid to drill into my head over e nxt few days.. n i met sooo many ppl in sch today really made me even more stressed..
dis is a realistic world.. i haf only myself to blame if i cant make it.. i haf been slacking too much too long..
anyway jus now on e way out to boon lay from sch we passed by e new jw lib den saw dere got yamaha so was qt happy since so near sch i can learn flute after sch ha.. i wanna learn flute cos i think e sound of flute v soothing.. saxophone oso can or clarinet.. but i prefer flute.. wanted to learn percussion cos i alwiz feel percussionist v sud.. but anyway went to chk yamaha website dun haf e course fees.. but flute is definitely not cheap la! my goodness!!e cheapest is 600odd leh.. boohoo..
if i go shanghai i certainly cant learn liao la cos i wld haf no $$ left for e flute course liao.. super tight budget cos still nid to save for tw trip n aussie trip.. n btw dis flute course is one yr leh.. so long... boohoo...
oh btw jus to add on wad's holding me back now is prolly e opportunity costs cos i really wanna work n earn some money! haizz but all e job i applied all no news lor.. including e china studies i got from sch haiz..
lemme think carefully.. ha.. n i think i shall gif myself a break tonite cos i really bui tahan so i not studying liao i shall go sleep..
anyway another nice song from an idol drama i watching... ha..我想我已开始有点疑惑
好像被她说中些什么
难道已经没有别的选择
只能乖乖地束手纠缠
难过的是我们做了选择
是对是错 谁也没把握
如果要我放手才能获得
为何在我心中又舍不得
看着你要走 还装着笑容
泪水的脆弱要撑多久
如果现在开口 如何挽留
感情这条线 注定只能这么远
不敢相信已经来到昨天
想你爱他必定多一些
我们之间不可能再回到从前
我还傻傻画着幸福线
看着你走远
还继续装笑脸
掩视沉默我能撑多久
如果现在开口 怎么挽留
感情这条线 注定无法延长一点
你已不再而我何时才清醒
相信一切都是命
不曾放弃你 我不会说什么
默默地承受想人的自豪
看着你要走 还装着笑容
泪水的脆弱要撑多久
如果现在开口 如何挽留
感情这条线 注定只能这么远
看着你要走 还装着笑容
泪水的脆弱要撑多久
如果现在开口 如何挽留
感情这条线 注定只能这么远
ok lar e lyrics not v wow.. but somehow wif e tune.. e impact is there...
and dis was e song dat started e welling of my tears in my eyes. hahaha.. from then on 装着几乎崩溃的情绪瓶子就这样被打翻了。。我们都忘了最初的快乐
拥抱越紧痛愈深刻
谁不会舍不得
现在我给的或许并不是你要的
如果分离是唯一的解脱最后的话我来说
如果永远你不必再难过遗憾让我来过
就算过去的回忆太脆弱连未来也没有我
爱着你仍是我的执着
the princess left at
12:43 AM
